Creating for Creation Sake
In 1999 or 2000, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. For some artist, depression has been a motivator and have pushed their art to a level they may have never reached without the experience. I, on the other hand, could not paint while I was depressed. One of the last things I tried to create before I decided to get medical and spiritual support for my depression was a woman, cut our of play wood and painted purple. I worked on it for months. At the time, I was staying at my parents, unable to concentrate long enough to hold a job. This was a very strange time in my life. The woman was in a Buddha position – eyes closed, legs crossed. It was a peaceful piece. After I finished the painting/sculpture, I threw it away.
My mother asked me why I threw it away. She also thought it was beautiful. To this day she ask about the painting. I am sure that I threw it away because it took so much energy to create and it was so the opposite of where I was as a person. I couldn’t look at it.
I created the piece below some years after I had overcome my depression. It was in homage of the previous piece. Though I was till not yet at a place of peace, I could now understand that painting peaceful imagery could get me there.
I didn’t paint a complete face – no eyes and hardly any mouth. Not sure why I did that, but in hindsight I see that the movement of the painting seem to be a strong presence of the piece and I think a mouth and eyes would have taken away from that.
I do wish sometimes, like my mother, that I would have kept the other piece and could sit them side by side – just to see the sameness and the differences. Maybe this one would not exist if the other one was still around.
If you would like to see the Purple Study in person, let me know. Contact me and visit my studio. I would be happy to have you stop by.